OUR CATALOG

After a surfing accident triggers inexplicable symptoms that leave Nicole unable to work or parent her children, she embarks on a quest of self-discovery. Guided by dreams, nature, and wisdom from others, she weaves an immersive diary of destruction, trauma, love, and renewal. Her journey transforms grief into a new story as she begins to see beauty and regeneration in the world around her.
Nicole faces the overwhelming challenges of personal and global loss as her children inherit a world plagued by environmental crises. Her older child, Pilar, becomes gravely ill with chronic Lyme disease, a condition exacerbated by climate change. As Pilar struggles with paralysis and an inability to attend school, Nicole’s survival strategy of resilience—built on her own experience of loss—begins to unravel. Faced with mounting grief, Nicole spirals into despair, questioning her will to continue.

A vision of her late father, who died of AIDS when it was poorly understood, sparks a turning point. His peace inspires Nicole to confront the heartbreak surrounding her—polluted oceans, burning forests, dying species, and her family’s health struggles.

With restored spirit, Nicole manages to hike to an alpine lake, where a moment of connection with wild Gray Jays fills her with awe and renewal. Accepting that she is just a small part of the planet that created her, Nicole finds the strength to embrace possibility and hope. Her sorrow transforms to a fresh narrative, one that sees loss as an opportunity to forge a future of resilience and togetherness.